...so i touched it.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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