isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
