The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
