So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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