You can't motorboat a personality
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
