Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's get the cat blown out
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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