drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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