You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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