Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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