Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
handjob tips. give me some.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize
