I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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