bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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