Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
