Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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