i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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