You really coming over, don't trick.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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