Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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