I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
