I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
How's work?
Spinning.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
