Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
