on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
