dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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