didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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