i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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