And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
