all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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