i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
