My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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