FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
