Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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