i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize