batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
