you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
