Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
