i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Pooping to opera.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
