like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
