i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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