They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
