Your mouth is God's brothel.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
