So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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