i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
