Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
