if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
