Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize