Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
