There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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