He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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