wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
