There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
