I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
