Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
