the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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