So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
