You made me cry and you don't even care
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
