so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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