i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
