I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
