I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
