he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
