Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
whose parrot is this?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
