i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize