So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
