can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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