Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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