What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize