I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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