O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Randomize
