big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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