dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
