I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
