Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
