I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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