you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
