Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize