Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
