1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
