I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
