I want to have your abortion
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
