We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize