you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
