whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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